Wednesday, 11 January 2017

New Year, Old Me?

The first week of 2017 has blown past us just as we have attempted to blow past the mistakes we've made in 2016-- whether individually, or as a world.

I haven't made "New Years Resolutions" in years; essentially as soon as I realised that I really wasn't able to continue lying to myself, I've stopped creating them. I can lie to everyone else- Yes, I went to the gym, I went to the 6am pilates class! I'm not spending money anymore! I try harder at school!- But it doesn't stop you from looking at yourself in the mirror after a shower and thinking, man, I do suck, and also, I'm an awful liar.

As a young 20-something year old with no money in the bank and 0% skills and 0 idea how to use my skills even if I had them, I (oddly) relish the lives of those who've had enough skill and talent to make it on their own. Every year I try to tell myself that this will be the year that I can put whatever talent I have to a success story, but every year I scrap the bottom of the barrel with my success story (and talent, unfortunately). But this year, I've decided that it will not be a "New Year's Resolution." It will be a birthday resolution, and a promise to myself that in my 22nd (?!?!?!?!?! I think...) year of life, I will try to be a better version of myself, for myself.

I sometimes wonder about the lives that people around me lead. Are they leading the lives they want to lead, or the lives that they think they should lead? And where does the life that you think you are obligated to live get in the way of the life that you really want to pursue? It seems like I'm always chasing something that I don't have enough interest in, and for the things I wanna do, I never have enough energy to pursue. But maybe that's just the reality of life? We have to pay our dues to get where we wanna go?

Anyway, that's enough of me rambling. Time to get back to work

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